I was driving home from my friend’s weekly movie evening. This week it was “The Illusionist”. An intriguing movie, it had a plot twist that was both unexpected and – refreshing.
I pulled up into my driveway- alone as usual.
As I got out of my car, I began to feel overwhelmed.
I felt afraid. And I had no idea why. Shouldn’t I have returned home, feeling fine? The ending was unexpectedly refreshing!
I guess I should explain what I mean.
Firstly, if you haven’t seen the movie – you should see it. But importantly, you should also reflect on what such a profound movie may mean for you.
You see, I returned home, thinking that everything would be the same. Thinking that, I would go back to the same, monotonous life.
Today was different. Today – I felt terrified. And I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out why.
Perhaps it was the premise of this movie that shook me-
that things are not always as they seem.
Perhaps it was the story line (spoiler alert); A poor peasant boy would grow to become a famous illusionist who can have encounters with the spirits of those who have passed.
Or was it the hope that those who have passed can maybe, just maybe, come back and speak to us?
Perhaps it was the sheer devastation the illusionist experienced when he found out his lover had been killed in a rage of jealousy by her ex-partner.
Perhaps it was the disturbing image of seeing her limp, lifeless body, outside in the cold. Her once rosy cheeks were now pale and insipid; her body blood-stained.
Or perhaps it was the life-changing moment when I discovered that in fact, it was all an illusion.
She had never died, her partner had never killed her. She staged her murder so she could escape her current relationship and be with the illusionist. It was all an illusion.
So yes, I found it refreshing that she was alive. That she could be with her lover and live happily ever after.
But when I drove home in the dark, alone. Parked my car and got out, alone. Walked into my apartment, and climbed into the sheets,
alone. I felt terrified.
The profound question overwhelmed me –
Is it possible that my parents are still alive?
Or is it that they wanted to leave me alone to be with each other?
It’s all an illusion – isn’t it?